I see the dark, not knowing what it holds. Will it be a calm end? Or will the coming night only hold suffering and agony? My fears numb the urge to flee, to cry out; it consumes my soul, and my mind accepts its fate. The flow of time washes over me, I feel the seconds pass me by, and yet the world ceases to spin. I’m drifting, further out, into the ocean of tranquility. Seconds turn to hours, hours into weeks, weeks into years, and years into eons. These still waters, of this timeless ocean, mirror the night and all the stars that reside within it. They birth, shine, and then depart in a colorful expansion. Its all reminiscent of a firework display, and just like a firework show, they end. Soon, as I drift into the cold, no more stars are born, and all the colors of the universe fade. I can only but feel myself drifting, drifting, drifting away. Is this the end? Is this oblivion? Have all our lives been truly for nothing? All the love and hate, the life and death, the peace and wars? Will my consciousness reach its end? Questions without answers, a soul without a destination, an eternal end.
What’s this? A light? Hope? An impossibility, an image borne of desperation? The current quickens, I feel a wake form behind me, and my unblinking eyes focus. There is a light, it shines amongst the void. I reach out, and try to touch it, but alas its too far. The ever quickening current rushes me, but to where? A roaring, a deafening sound invades the calm, the numbing fear returns, and I thrash about; trying to fight the inevitable. The urge to fight resurges, and I muster all my strength to no avail. The roaring becomes unbearable, and suddenly I’m falling. As I descend, everything numbs once more. A peace embraces me, and my mind surrenders, come what may.
A familiar sensation pulses through my body, and then transforms into clarity. I feel again, I feel something underneath me. My hand presses into it, its dry, soft, and warm. My eyes open as if they never were, and I see light, yes light. A warm golden light. It shines through an opening within a structure that I now realize shelters me. My memory returns, I lift the sheets that cover me, and I rise from my bed. I walk over to the window, and bask in the warm light of my star. I breathe in and out. I rush to my family with the intention to share my experience. The moment comes, and then, what was it I dreamt again? My brain flexes, as it desperately tries to summon the memories I so dearly wished to share. As each minute passes, the memories fade ever further into nothingness; until they are gone entirely. Its okay, I think to myself, I’ll remember next time.