4/16/2022
Disclaimer: There will be typos probably, I’m typing fast and just letting my mind go crazy.
Welcome to the fifth entry of my blog where I discuss the development of the story I’m currently writing, Saviors of Novus. These entries are a place for me to ramble on about the details of my story, and also so I can sort of vent my creativity without having to worry about sentence structure and other aspects of writing a well thought out story. Simply put, I sometimes need to write without thinking, if that makes any sense. Now, onward to the actual entry!
I’ve been moving away from personal thoughts and getting a little too lore heavy in these posts lately I think. So I will try and make this one more about writing and less about the story, when appropriate.
I began my quest to write a book back in 2013, nearly ten years ago; still can’t believe that much time has passed already. I was eighteen and had no idea what I was doing, all I knew was that I wanted to write stories and believed it to be my purpose, strongly. There’s more to why I came to this conclusion, but that’s another story for another day; when the time is right I will share it. My parents were worried about me I’m sure, back then all anyone was pressuring me to do was to go to college and live the American dream. In hindsight, I’m still glad I chose the path I did, as I may never have found my story.
Sometimes I think my close friends and family don’t truly realize how important this is to me. I don’t blame them though, I don’t often talk about writing to anyone in my circle. Mostly because I either feel they don’t care that much or because I feel like I’m “forcing” it on them. I know I’m probably deceiving myself, but it’s just the way I feel whenever I bring it up on my own, without someone first asking me about it; and no one ever asks me about it, so I don’t tell, that’s just the way it is. In their defense, I haven’t really accomplished or done anything to make them think I possess any sort of talent or potential. All I have are bits and pieces, but I hope to change that soon.
Moving on, the reason I believe it has taken a decade for me to reach the point at which I find myself currently, is because I had to learn. I didn’t know anything about creating a cohesive plot, research, backstory, anything. I didn’t even know what the purpose or point of the story was, all I knew was the idea of my story and no details. I attempted writing my story immediately without doing any of the work. It was awful, I still have it, it serves as a reminder of what I used to be like, or how I used to think about creating stories. That’s not to say I’ve learned it all now, no, I have much to learn still, and I believe it shows. However, after finally finding my story, I’m in a position I’ve never found myself in before, a position of confidence.
For so long I was grasping at straws. Every time I tried a different character, a different approach, a different writing style, it always fell apart; in my mind that is. None of it was ever built upon anything, it was each time pure improv based upon my emotions and visions for the story I wanted to tell. Each time I did this, I would find myself lost. There would be a point in my writing process where I didn’t know where to take the story next. I literally had no idea what should happen, what the characters should do or how they would react to this or that scenario. It was a cluster. I simply didn’t know what my story was, or where it was. I couldn’t decide where it should begin and where it should end, and this discouraged me more than anything.
Looking back, and looking ahead, I believe I finally understand why I’m doing this. It’s not the writing itself that I’m passionate about, no. I simply have a passion for creating stories, scenes, moments of sadness, joy, and heroism. Writing is simply the easiest way for me to channel these ideas. I used to make lego stop motion animation videos before I began writing, and before that I would draw stick figure comic strips in elementary school. This is simply my next avenue in which I create a story, but it will take time, more time than I’ve ever spent on making something before.
My life has been one of elimination. When I try something and it doesn’t work out, I leave it behind and try something else until I find what works. This is the reason behind why I have had so many jobs since high school, and finally, for now, I’ve found what works best out of all the jobs I’ve tried; and this helps my confidence in knowing that I’m doing what works best for me, because I’ve eliminated all my other options through trial and error. My writing journey followed the same process I believe. It took time for me to discover what the plot should be and who should be the protagonist and antagonist. I believe everything happens for a reason, especially when you spend years searching for yourself. So many of us, at least the people within my friend circles, have no idea what their purpose is, what drives them, and who they are. It saddens me so much, because they’re all incredible people who have amazing gifts, but they’re unable to use them to their full potential because life is difficult. Fortunately for me, I believe I have not only learned who I am but I have also found what I must do. My recent discovery of my story has proven that to me, and I look forward to see what the future may bring.
I keep mentioning how I’ve “discovered my story.” Let me get into that a little. In recent years and months I’ve matured to the point where I accepted I needed to work hard to build up the backstory to everything I wanted to write about. Only then would I be able to write a story with a strong foundation. After conceptualizing most of my ideas and backstory, I began to see the light. Finally I had something with integrity to build my story off of. So I continued, I wrote many lore pieces, including ones that I’ve never shared before to keep secret certain plot points. I learned to love writing backstory, when back in 2014 I would’ve groaned at the thought. I was too young for my own good I guess, and perhaps in some ways I still am. I’ve always been a patient person, but sometimes I still get bored writing, which is difficult for me to accept. How can I ever achieve my goals if I don’t always love writing? I now understand it’s silly to think that I must only write in my spare time, everyone gets burned out sometimes, and we must take a step back to gain perspective and knowledge; it’s sometimes a necessary thing I’ve learned. Anyways, one day I found myself with a story. After a year of working on the backstory on and off, I finally had something that inspired a real story, a real character. It’s funny, the character I found myself focusing on was originally meant to only be a side character we would seldom read about; and isn’t that how life works? Its never what you think, its always something else that was there all along that you never expected. I love thinking about that.
To summarize, it took a long time before I found the right story to tell, the right setting, and the right characters. I certainly could have accomplished this much sooner, there were times where I would spend a year away from writing when I wasn’t sure of myself. After through many trials and many more errors, I believe I have found all the right pieces to build my story. Going forward I need to continue working on the backstory and lore. I’m currently fleshing out some details such as the various technologies, cultures, mannerisms, histories, etc. Some are proving a challenge, but I have some great friends I can go to for help. Nothing great can be achieved alone, and that’s something else I needed to learn as well.
I think this is a good place to stop. I’ll touch on more of this later, but for now, I hope you enjoyed reading about my personal struggles with writing, and the breakthroughs I made along the way. Whatever you’re going through, whether it be life in general or something else creative, I want you to know that nothing can be achieved without perseverance and dedication, and good friends and family to help you out along the way. I hope you have a great day, until next time.