11/24/2022
Recently I’ve made known the completion of the first revision of the first chapter to my story, Saviors of Novus. As of writing this I’ve nearly completed the third revision of the chapter, and look forward to sharing it with the internet soon. While I’ve reached various personal milestones in my writing journey this month, I’ve been experiencing new challenges and hurdles as well.
I’m sure these challenges are common among other writers, but I’d like to share them anyway in hopes my story will help others who find themselves in a similar situation. This is my real first attempt at writing a full length novel. I’ve only attempted this once before nearly ten years ago when I was eighteen. Little did I know then it was necessary for me to educate myself, grow, and gain experience; before attempting to create something with any real chance of it being worthy of someone else’s time. Since then, I would like to think I’ve done all those things to some degree. Its been quite the journey of self discovery and many lessons learned, and I’m very thankful for all that’s happened leading up to this moment.
As I neared the completion of the third revision of my first chapter, an overwhelming surge of doubt filled my mind. After all, I’ve read, edited, read, and edited this chapter maybe a hundred times by now. It no longer inspired confidence in myself and in my passion. It grew stale and bland to me, and a fear took hold. The smallest of details in a story prove to be the most challenging to me. What do you place in between the major plot points of a story? What do you fill it with? How do you keep the reader interested? In a moment I felt I know longer possessed any knowledge or skill, and my project was on the path for disaster and ultimately failure. I began to second guess my entire adult life’s goal to publish a book, and wondered if I’ve been wasting countless hours of my life on something that in the end would be all in vain.
This internal event is a reoccurring one, but each time I feel myself better prepared to overcome it. This time however, it hit hard, and left me unable to write a single word one day. I just sat at my desk and allowed myself to deepen in thought. For an hour or two I simply thought about what I was doing, and if it was the right thing for me. I often do this, diving into an ocean of thought and allowing myself to wonder and imagine; both for creative purposes and to help remind myself of who I am for reassurance. I guess it’s a form of meditation. These events are caused by a realization and dwelling I often visit. There are such talented writers, creators, artists, and musicians out there. There are so many aspects to writing a coherent story that flows and delivers on its promise to the reader, that it will provide a worthwhile experience for them to enjoy. Then when it comes to science fiction or science fantasy, there are endless possibilities for technologies, plot directions, characters, events, etc. I then ask myself, “How do I know I’m picking the best ones for my story? How do I know this is the direction it should take?” Only recently I’ve had enough with these thoughts and mental breakdowns, and I wish to overcome them and push on.
Up until now I’ve only been writing linearly, never moving on until the current chapter I’m working on is in a satisfactory state. I’ve never truly outlined a chapter, let alone future ones, at least not officially. I have most of the story laid out in my mind, and in various documents I’ve privately written, but nothing concrete or official. While writing this chapter, I discovered a truth obvious to others that my stubborn nature refused to acknowledge. Most of the key plot points and twists that I’ve designed in my story, were afterthoughts once a revision was completed. These twists and key plot points, I believe, are fantastic and fuel excitement within myself for the rest of the story. While I may feel uncomfortable with minor details within the first chapter as it currently stands, I know if I simply move on and continue writing future chapters, new ideas will arise and help better mold the first chapter into one I can firmly place my confidence.
Despite my passion for writing and my love for good stories, I have to admit that writing is a huge challenge at times for me. I understand everyone is different. Some people write countless books while others only ever write one or two. I don’t know where I fit in yet, but I’m guessing it may be only two or three for me; I have no idea honestly, and never really think about it all that much. A major flaw I have within myself as a human being, is a strong sense of pride. I hate admitting I need help sometimes, and it often encourages me to believe that if I can’t create something perfect, then I must be the worst writer to ever live. I of course know this is a foolish thing, and I’m constantly working on bettering that aspect of myself.
This journey has taught me so much about myself, and how to write. I hope these experiences and lessons will only lead to the best story I can write, which I also hope is enough. Taking a step back, I’m still happy with the first chapter, it just needs a few minor tweaks to reach its final form; and if I’m unable to discover what it needs in the moment, just move on and return to it later with the knowledge of what the future of the story holds. From what I’ve already learned, that’s the only way to ever know for sure what your story needs. Only be reaching the end, will you discover what the story requires to provide the reader an experience they’re not soon to forget.
I thought I could deliver the first chapter before Thanksgiving, but I quickly learned this would not be possible. I hope to share it soon, within a week if I were to be optimistic. Thank you for reading this and I look forward to sharing my story with you. Please have a great day, and remember that life is more than just the worries that plague us, most of the time its about enjoying our friendships and families; and the memories we make together.
